Monday, 21 March 2011

And then there was Light

I had been shrouded in darkness for so many weeks now I really began to believe that I had actually lost myself!  I lost my light, my vibrancy, my Joie de vivre!  My children felt the effects of my misery too and became sapped of their natural ability to just be themselves.  I had turned into Shrek the actual Ogre and not the green loveable character that now graces our screens.  Knowing deep inside of me that the positive person I had grown accustomed to love and adore was now packing its bags and leaving sent me into an awful panic; to such a degree I felt drastic steps needed to be taken for my survival!  I began to wonder the reasons why I felt so utterly dreadful.  The answer lay in a small pink tablet called Mirtazapine that was prescribed by my doctor to help me through my “I can’t take any more of this s**t called life anymore!”  Yes they were anti-depressants but despite my rigorous efforts to research different discussion threads about this pill I still took them in the hope that they would at least get the Serotonin levels in my brain back to normal as they had promised.  Well I stopped taking them Thursday evening and by Sunday I was dancing to loud music around my bedroom in shorts and a t-shirt singing and laughing gaily on my own and loving it!  The old me had returned with a grand carnival entrance and I welcomed her with open arms. 
Now I must emphasise that I did search the internet for a natural replacement for the pills before I stopped taking them and found a herbal supplement called "Happy Days 5HTP" distributed by Healthspan and immediately ordered some, I am eagerly awaiting their arrival and will let you know how I get on.  Though because of my experience, I do urge anyone who is on prescribed anti-depressants to be acutely aware of mood changes once they start taking them. Even though the precautions stated that they can make you feel worse before you will feel better, a month in of taking them I would rather deal with my own demons without the addition of others that I have no idea how to cope with.
So as I finally see the light streaming through my window of the world, I pass this missive onto you with a huge grin on my face charting a huge step in my glorious journey on finding my way back to me!
Have a fantastic day J

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